Sometimes when things keep going wrong in your life and nothing seems to be going right, you get stuck thinking “I suck at everything”. You can’t get anything right, luck seems to be against you all the time, everyone else seems to be getting places and you seem to be staying still or even moving backwards. And all you can think to yourself is “why do I suck at everything?”
Ultimately, this leads to a negative spiral of thinking. You think you suck at everything, so you focus on how you suck at everything. When you focus on sucking at everything, you keep thinking you suck at everything. it gets worse and worse and, ultimately, you feel like a failure and end up wasting your time, wasting your life and living in a world of regret.
This is not a place you want to be in. This is not a place I want you to be in. So let’s get down to the nitty gritty of why you feel like you suck at everything and, frankly, what to do if you suck at everything.
The problem – thinking, “I suck at everything”
Quite clearly, if you think you suck at everything, you have a problem with negative thinking about yourself. I mean, that goes without saying, right? I know you have probably heard this, but let’s get this out there from the start – you do not suck at EVERYTHING. If you sucked at everything, you wouldn’t be here. Merely by identifying that you feel like you suck at everything, you have shown that you are actually good at identifying how you feel, you are good at addressing it, and you have the personality of someone who wants to do something about it.
Believe it or not, not everyone would get that far. Many people would feel like they suck, but then not do anything about it. But you are different. You are here, looking to do something about it. So you do NOT suck at everything!
This may seem basic or like I am not being genuine, but I promise you I am. This is a very important first step to take. You must give yourself the wins where you can because that is going to help you to move forwards.
See, the problem is, whatever you focus on, you feel. If you keep focusing on how you are no good at anything then that is what you will see. No matter what you do, you will always see how you are no good. If you get things right and do things well, you won’t hold on to those things. Instead, you will hold on to the times where you haven’t done as well as you could.
So the first part of getting over this is moving towards a state of being where you can identify when you do things well or get things right. I promise you there are times you do.
And then, once you do that, keep doing that. You need to rewire your brain and how it thinks. Currently, it is trained to look for the negative about yourself. You need to get it to focus on the positive about yourself, and that takes time and practise. It’s like a muscle. Train your brain to think more positively about yourself. I know that might seem like a lot of effort right now and like it won’t work, but trust me when I say it’s worth the pain of going through it to get to the other side of having a more positive mindset.
Now I know some of you are going to read that and still think you suck at everything and want to know why. So let’s move on to some other practical tips.
Why do you suck at everything?
So you want to know why you suck at everything (even though you don’t suck at everything)? Well, I’m not going to sugar coat this. There are two reasons why you suck at everything.
Why you suck at everything
1. You suck at everything because of the mental constraints you are giving yourself.
Similar to the point above, the mental game you play with yourself plays a big role in how well you do at things. If you go in to something thinking you are going to suck at it, then, guess what – you are going to suck at it.
If you think you are dumb, then you will probably find things hard at school. If you think you are no good at sports then you will likely perform badly when you play them. If you think you are a bad girlfriend or husband, then you will probably find ways to fulfil that.
Every heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Well this is that. You tell yourself you are going to be a certian way and that’s what comes about.
Now, haven’t you had times where you have gone in to it knowing something positive, and that has come about? Maybe you are good at video games and you know you will win a round. And you do. Do you think you would have done that if you went in thinking you were going to suck?
Maybe you were having an argument with someone, and you told yourself you were going to win no matter what. And so you found a way to win that argument. Maybe a bit of a downer of an example, but you get the point!
The mental game you play with yourself is everything.
2. You suck at everything because you don’t practise enough.
If you want to write a book, and you want it to sell and do well, but you never practise writing books, then, guess what – it’s very unlikely that you will write a best-selling book.
If you want to draw works of art that are up there with the most famous of artists, but you rarely pick up a pen and draw, then, you know what – you probably won’t become a famous artist.
If you want to get really good at French, and you don’t put in the time to learn the ins-and-outs of the language, then it will probably take you years to do it.
Because putting in the time to get good at what you want to be good at is a requirement.
Sometimes, we just want to be naturally good at something. Maybe it is our dream, and so we feel we should be naturally good at it. Sure, some people have a natural talent, but natural talent can be surpassed by skill – the idea of getting good at something through practise; through building it.
And, even if you have natural talent, if you don’t then practise, that natural talent will fade.
Don’t use natural talent as an excuse for you not to be good at something you want to be good at. Practise is a requirement if you want to be really good at something. So have you really practised enough? And I mean real, focused practise. Not distracted, low-effort practise.
You know what they say – “practise makes perfect”. There’s a reason the saying is a cliché.
What to do if you suck at everything – how not to suck at everything
So, what steps should you take if you suck at everything (or anything)? Well, it seems pretty simple from the reasons, above, of why you suck.
How to not suck
1. Fix your mental game.
You must fix your mental attitude towards whatever you want to not suck at before you can actually start to get good at it. This is because your mental attitude towards learning at getting good will keep you going when you just don’t want to, or when you have hard times, or when you feel like you aren’t getting any better.
If you can keep going, despite feeling bad about yourself, then you will put yourself in a great position to ultimately get good at whatever you are trying to do.
And this will only help you in the future. If you can have a great mental attitude towards getting good at whatever it is you want to get good at now, then you will be able to use this new way of thinking for other things in the future.
Your mental attitude is so important, and working on it now will help you exponentially going forwards.
2. Practise.
When you practise, it’s important not to jsut do low-level, low-energy practise. It’s important not to be distracted, and it’s important to go in with a solid mindset (that’s why fixing your mental game comes first!).
When you practise, it’s important to go in to it knowing that you want to learn, that you want to get good. By telling yourself you want to learn, you open your mind up to seeing new ways of doing things, you let yourself get things wrong, and, importantly, you let yourself learn from your mistakes so that you get better.
It’s also incredibly important to focus and immerse yourself. If you focus and practise in a state of immersion, you allow your mind to get better at whatever you are doing so much more quickly than it would if you were distracted or only did it for a short amount of time per day. So the best thing you can do is practise for long stretches without distractions.
Then, keep going. Keep practising. You have probably heard to the idea of doing something for 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. Well, start putting in your 10,000 hours.
Why do I suck at everything? – Conclusion
So, I hope from reading this that you realise you don’t really suck at everything. But I do understand the feeling. And it’s important that you train yourself to think differently about yourself and train yourself to think differently about how you approach things. Fix your mental game, and the rest will follow.
Then, just keep practising. Practise whatever it is you want to get good at, and keep practising having a good mental attitude.
Finally, know that if you do these two things, you will get good at anything you want. It’s inevitable.
Is there anything in your life you can recall feeling like you weren’t good at, then you changed how you thought about it, did focused practise on it, then found yourself good at it? Let me know in the comments below!
Further Reading
There’s a great saying “when nothing goes right, go left!” If you feel like nothing is going right in your life, find out the meaning of when nothing goes right go left and why it applies when it feel like nothing ever goes right.
Sometimes when you feel like you suck at everything, it’s because you don’t have a focus. Find out why you need an aim in life, why you need a life mission, and why you need an ambition in life to help get you focused.
If you are in need of some good old fashioned inspiration about success, check out these Chinese proverbs about success.
Finally, if you want to be successful in life, check out these 7 key steps you must take in order to be successful and these signs that you will be successful in life.
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